The Psychic Stuff I DON'T Believe In

I’m a psychic medium. I read Tarot. I communicate with dead people. I believe in Spirit, signs, energy and magic… but that doesn’t mean I believe everything the spiritual world tells me. 

In this episode of Psychic Whispers, I’m talking about some of the psychic and spiritual ideas that make me raise an eyebrow — from “everything happens for a reason” and manifestation culture to twin flames, signs from Spirit, Mercury retrograde and the idea that psychics should always be right.

This isn’t about debunking spirituality. Far from it. After more than thirty years doing this work, I’m probably more comfortable with my beliefs than I’ve ever been.

But I also believe there’s room for questions, critical thinking and the occasional “that sounds like absolute rubbish”

Because you can believe in magic and still use your common sense.

And perhaps questioning what we believe doesn’t make us less spiritual at all. 

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And I definitely want to hear yours after this one — what piece of spiritual wisdom has always made you raise an eyebrow?

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Transcript

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SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hello, and welcome to the Psychic Whispers Podcast. Hello, hello, and welcome back to Psychic Whispers. Okay, just in case the title of the podcast didn't give it away, I'm a psychic medium. Hey. I have, in fact, been doing this professionally for a very long time. I read tarot. I communicate with dead people. I believe in intuition, energy, spirit, synchronicity, signs, and a whole host of things that plenty of people already consider pretty weird. But that doesn't mean I believe in everything. In fact, there's quite a lot of spiritual stuff that makes me raise an eyebrow. And I thought it might be fun to talk about some of it. Because I think there's sometimes this assumption that if you're spiritual or psychic or witchy or whatever word you like to like to use, that you have to accept the entire package. And I don't. I never have. If anything, the longer I've done this work, the more I'm comfortable with saying, I don't know, or I'm not really convinced by that. Or occasionally, what a load of shit that is. I don't think that makes me less spiritual. I actually think questioning our beliefs is really healthy. So today we're talking about some of the psychic and spiritual ideas that either I don't believe, don't completely agree with, or maybe I think we've taken just a little too far. And before we begin, this is obviously my perspective. You are completely allowed to disagree with me. I'm definitely not declaring myself supreme leader of the spiritual people. Can you imagine? Thank God. The paperwork, the admin, no thanks. So let's get into it. Everything happens for a reason. Let's start with a big one. Everything happens for a reason. Do I believe there are experiences in our lives that have meaning? Absolutely. Do I believe certain people come into our lives at a particular time and completely change our direction? Yes, I do. Do I believe in synchronicity? I do. Yes, I do. Do I believe we can look back at something that felt awful at the time and realize that it eventually led us somewhere important? Yes, absolutely. But do I believe that every single thing that happens to a human being was deliberately orchestrated by the universe for their personal development? I'm not sure I do. And actually, sometimes I think saying everything happens for a reason to somebody who's suffering can be incredibly unhelpful. Sometimes something terrible happens. And perhaps the meaning isn't in why it happened. The meaning, the lesson, it might be in what we eventually do with what happened. Like it wasn't meant to happen, but it did, and we've created something out of it. I love that we can find the meaning in sometimes the most difficult things. I love that human beings link their lives and what they're doing into some meaning. I love that. I don't want that to stop. But I also don't always think that every single thing has been somehow curated in that way. Sometimes we just have stuff happen. And it's great that we can learn from it, but I don't really believe that every single thing has been perfectly curated in a way to teach us specifics at every single moment of our lives. I believe that there are some things, absolutely, that are kind of faded, and other things that our free will just kind of led us into. And maybe not even free will by choice, but just the path we took. And bam, there it is. I have spent a huge part of my life talking about fate and free will, and I've never believed that we're simply passengers in our lives. There are definitely, like I said, things that we encounter, possibilities, crossroads, people, moments. But I also think that we choose, and I think chance does exist. I don't need every difficult thing in my life to have been personally scheduled by the universe. Sometimes life is just messy. And trust me, humans can create mess all on our own. We don't need the universe's help for that all the time. All right, next one. You manifested it. I think this is the one that bothers me a lot. The idea that we manifest absolutely everything that happens to us. Okay. Do I believe intention matters? Yes, I do. Do I think where we put our intention can change the way we live? Of course. Absolutely. Do I think our beliefs about ourselves can affect the choices we make and therefore the lives we build? Yes, absolutely. But somewhere along the way, manifestation became this conversation of you attracted everything that happened to you. And I think that can become incredibly cruel. People do not deserve tragedy because they weren't positive enough. Somebody didn't become ill because their vibration was too low. You know, someone experiencing grief doesn't need to worry that their sadness is attracting more sadness. Sometimes you're sad because something fucking happened. You're loud. I really dislike any form of spirituality that makes people frightened of their own emotions. And that brings me beautifully to good vibes only. No. Just no. I believe in energy. I absolutely believe our emotional state affects us and can affect the atmosphere around us. But I don't believe we're supposed to spend our entire lives vibrating at some permanently joyful frequency. That's not being spiritual in my eyes. That is being emotionally constipated. Thank you very much. Human beings get angry. We get jealous, we grieve, we're frightened, we get pissed off. Sometimes we wake up in a bad mood for absolutely no discernible reason. And sometimes anger is useful. Sometimes anger tells you a boundary has been crossed. Sometimes sadness tells you something mattered. Sometimes fear is trying to protect you. The goal shouldn't be to eliminate every uncomfortable emotion. It should be to understand what it's telling us. I don't think spirit needs you smiling while your life is falling apart. Just FYI. You're allowed to feel everything is a sign. Okay. This one's gonna get me in trouble. I believe in signs. I really do. I've experienced them, I've seen extraordinary signs come through in readings. I've had moments in my own life that were just far too specific and far too perfectly timed to dismiss. But, and here's the but not everything is a sign. I like to pay attention to the signs that just feel too specific in a moment. I think we feel signs as much as we experience them. You kind of know something is really happened that's special and is a sign when you really feel it. I also think signs are amazing when they come into this beautiful, perfect timing that's just way too weird to explain. Those are the things I definitely pay attention to. But treating everything as a sign can make the genuinely meaningful moments feel less special. For me, I think a sign needs to have context. That timing, there's something about that timing, right? The meaning, the repetition, the feeling that accompanies it. Like I said, we feel them. Maybe you've asked for something specific. Maybe it connects directly to the person that you're thinking about. Maybe it's something so unusual. It just stops you in your tracks. That is very different. And it's also very different from Googling the spiritual meaning of seeing a pigeon on a Tuesday, because we've all been there trying to read uh Tuesday pigeons, but let me tell you, no. I'm sure, however, if you Googled, um the internet will probably provide you with some articles somewhere. In fact, if you find one, please send it to me. I'd love to read it. You know, a beautiful story many years ago. Um, I lost a very dear friend of mine. Gosh, she was amazing. And I was quite sad about her passing. And I was in bed, uh, we had just digested, you know, saying goodbye to her, and there was a lot going on. And my kids came crawling into bed. My phone was next to me, and I was just, you know, the kids picked up on it. They said, Mom, what's wrong? I said, I'm just sad, you know, about my friend. And they were so sweet. And as I was talking about her and just sharing positive things with my kids, and that's because I want them to really get that, you know, when someone passes, this is how we we we remember, we talk fondly. My phone, which was next to me on a table, not being touched by a single human being, clicked itself on and played a song called Ticket to Heaven. Now that was a sign. And I knew that she was okay. I knew she was telling me, I'm here, I got in, I'm fine, we're good. I couldn't ignore it. We were discussing her. The phone turns itself on, plays me the song, boom. How can I ignore that? That's the difference. You know, I'm not interested in telling people that nothing means anything. I'm just saying that discernment matters. You know, take the special moments. And they don't even have to be that dramatic. I mean, that was a very specific dramatic sign, but it could be something as simple as, well, there's no way a feather could have gotten in here, you know, not just like, oh, I found a feather on my porch because there's birds outside. But when you have something appear at a timing you've asked for, or there's just a space it could not have shown up, that those are the things that I want you to really take on. Those are the things that really matter. Okay, here's another one. Every intense relationship is a soulmate. And oh, here we go: soulmates, twin flames, karmic relationships, divine counterparts. I absolutely believe that we have profound soul connections with people. I absolutely believe there there are people we meet in our soul group or who have a soul connection with us who feel strangely familiar, people who change us, the people who arrive at incredibly significant times. Absolutely, I believe that some of those connections may stretch beyond this lifetime. 1000% I believe in that. But intensity doesn't automatically equal destiny or connection. And this is something that I've seen a lot in relationship work. Sometimes a relationship feels incredibly intense because it's unhealthy and even misaligned. Sometimes uncertainty creates obsession. You know, somebody being unavailable makes us want them more. There are times that chemistry is chemistry. And sometimes somebody can be enormously significant to your life without being somebody you're supposed to spend the rest of your life with. I am particularly uncomfortable when spiritual language is used to encourage somebody to ignore reality. Well, they keep leaving because we're twin flames. You know, they've blocked me because they're running from the connection. They're married to somebody else, but spirit says we're destined. At some point, we have to respect what's actually happening. Spirituality shouldn't require you to abandon yourself in these moments. And yes, I am perfectly aware that people have met at times that it was not, you know, an open time to connect and they've made genuine connections and they did have soul connections. Not going to deny that that exists in the world, but there are times when sometimes I'm noticing we're using this connection thing as kind of a barrier to ignore what's really going on. Somebody being your soulmate certainly shouldn't mean that boundaries no longer apply. I want healthy relationships with our soulmates and with people who are not our soulmates, with whomever we choose. Don't ignore just because you think there might be something deeper going on. Sometimes there's not. Sometimes it really just is time and place, our needs, our emotional fulfillment, the things that make this enticing. So many things that could also be in the way. So just, you know, lean in a little bit. Tune into what's really going on. And a soulmate, you know, if they're the one, they're gonna do the work to make it work with you. Okay, next one. Psychics are always right. Absolutely no, absolutely not. And anybody that tells you they're 100% accurate, I would raise an eyebrow. Psychic information comes through a human being. We're interpreting it. There are symbols, impressions, feelings, images. Information can be incredibly clear and sometimes not. I've been doing this for more than 30 years, and I can I can still misunderstand something. I'm human. I might interpret a symbol in my own way, and it actually means something different to someone else. I try to be clear about what I see with my clients. I try to be clear about what I'm feeling, and then I try to interpret that on top of that. But the one thing that I'm aware of is that I'm a human filter. And I need to understand that sometimes the language in which this spirit or the guidance or the energy is telling me is sometimes through the language of the person I'm speaking to. That can mean that things are interpreted differently when they may have different meanings to someone else. The one thing I do to try and get around that is be clear about what I'm seeing, feeling, and experiencing. If I tell the person what I'm seeing, feeling, experiencing first, and they'll then tell them how I think that applies, then I'm being clear when I might not be 100% clear. And that usually helps me to really get into the real heart of what is actually being said. I wish more psychics were clear and honest about what they see. For those of you out there that are psychic and you're doing that, I commend you. This is a tough gig, you know. And it requires a lot of honesty on our part too. And I think what separates the really good psychics from, you know, psychics are the ones that are honest about this process. Yeah, I'm a human being. Hi. You're getting a filter of me with this glorious, accurate, clear information. I'm gonna do my very, very best. And I'm pretty well versed now after all these years in knowing what I see and the confidence that I feel in the messages that I receive. But I'm still human. I think it's really important for all of us, intuitives out there, psychic mediums, and listen, are you listening? I think it's really important ethically that we're honest about this process. You know, if somebody believes that everything you say is absolute truth, you have enormous influence over them. And that's not something that I want, not at all. I want people to retain their own judgment, their own choices, their own free will. A reading should never ever take that away. And if you're really psychic, you should know. This is the cousin of that conversation. If you're really psychic, tell me what I'm thinking. What's my middle name? What did I eat for breakfast? I don't know, Susan. Toast? That's not how it works. I wish it did. At least it's not how it works for me. Being psychic doesn't mean having unlimited access to every piece of information in the universe, unfortunately. Um, information comes from context. In reading, I'm working with what I'm receiving. And sometimes that is extraordinarily specific. Sometimes it's broad until we understand what it's referring to. And sometimes I get something that means absolutely nothing to me, but everything to the person I'm reading for. And that's actually one of my favorite things about this work. Because that's when I know I'm not simply pulling something out of thin air. You know, that's when real wonderful, extraordinary messages come through. And I love that. Everything bad is Mercury retrograde. Oh, poor Mercury. Honestly, that planet must be exhausted from the amount of crap we blame on it. Your laptop crashed, Mercury retrograde. Your extected Mercury retrograde, by the way. You forgot your appointment. Also, Mercury retrograde. Uh, you had an argument, Mercury retrograde. Are we hearing a pattern here? Uh, I love astrology, just so you know. I think planetary cycles give us fascinating ways of understanding energy and timing. But I don't think astrology removes personal responsibility. You know, sometimes your laptop crashed because it's old. Sometimes your ex-texted because your ex is an idiot. Sometimes you missed your appointment because you forgot. Um, and sometimes you had an argument because, you know, there was something that needed resolving. Not Mercury. You, your life, your whole thing. I think spiritual tools should help us understand ourselves, not become an excuse, obviously, for everything that we do. I mean, but sometimes Mercury is playing havoc. Fair enough. Fair enough. And it is sometimes fun to pin a little more blame on Mercury. Okay, you know what? Fine. We can blame it if it makes you feel better. But just so you know, um, if there's a problem that needs resolving, uh, Mercury isn't gonna resolve it. And maybe it's just drying it out and you need to figure out how the solutions work. I'm just saying, if it's meant for you, it'll just happen. Oh man, this one. I have literally recorded an entire episode called The Life You Want Isn't Going to Knock on Your Door. Maybe that's a good one to listen to if you haven't. But I believe in fate and synchronicity, as I said. I believe certain opportunities arrive at extraordinary times, but sometimes the universe opens a door and you still have to bloody walk through it. You have to send the email, apply for the job, leave the relationship, start the business, learn the thing, make the phone call, take the risk, whatever it is. I don't believe that spirituality is passive. I think we participate in our lives. And perhaps that's where free will becomes so important to me. The things you want will not just come to the door just because it's meant for you. There are ways in which I believe. Our active participation is the key to the universe coordinating that thing for you. So let's do the thing. Get the stuff together. Make the effort. Those doorways are so much easier opened when we actually help the process too. We got to do our part. The universe can only do so much. You know, I mean, I still believe that if you're doing all of this from your sofa and actively manifesting, there's still going to be a plan of action at some point. You can begin the process sitting down, but you gotta somehow get up and make it work. All right, the stuff I do believe, I want to make sure this episode doesn't sound like I'm suddenly become the world's most cynical psychic because I'm not. If anything, I've become more comfortable with my spirituality, especially lately. More comfortable with calling myself psychic, with magic, with mystery, more comfortable saying, I believe this even though I can't prove it to you. Fair. I believe consciousness is more complicated than we understand. I believe love continues beyond death. I believe I've communicated with people who are no longer physically here. I believe intuition is real, that energy matters, that there are connections and synchronicities in life that I can't explain through coincidence alone. I believe ritual can be powerful. That humans have always sought relationship with the unseen for a reason. And I still have questions, lots of them, in fact. Those things aren't contradictory to me. You know, questioning doesn't destroy magic. Maybe that's what this really episode is actually about. Somewhere along the way, we started treating questioning as though it was the enemy of the belief. I don't think it is. I don't need to believe every spiritual idea in order to remain open to mystery. I don't need an explanation for everything. And equally, I don't need to call everything I don't understand spirit. There's room in the middle. There's room for I don't know. There's room for curiosity. There's room for changing your mind. There are things I believed 20 years ago that I don't believe today. And I'm sure there are things I believe today that I'll understand differently 20 years from now. I hope so. Because otherwise I've stopped learning. So those are a few pieces of psychic and spiritual stuff that make me raise an eyebrow. And I'm sure I probably, you know, confused one person at least. Like, what? Doesn't that sound like you should? No, I don't believe in everything. I'm actually pretty grounded. If there's an unexplainable noise, I want to get to the bottom of what it could be logically first before I start blaming ghosts. I like to know that there are scientific explanations for things that we somehow see in this world because that's all so magical to me. Science is amazing. The world is amazing. And there's so many rational explanations that are still extraordinary to me. And then there's lots of extraordinary things that none of that can explain away. And I live for that. I love that stuff. I just don't believe that every single thing boils down to that. And I believe that by discerning, I get to really make those things even more special. But you get to choose what you believe. You don't have to agree with me. In fact, I don't want you to believe something simply because I believe it. Obviously, explore it. Question it, experience it, make up your own mind. Because I don't think spirituality should make us less curious. I think it should make us more curious. You can believe in spirit and ask questions. And you can believe in signs without making everything a sign. You can believe in astrology without blaming poor Mercury for your bad decisions. You can believe in energy without being frightened of having a bad day. And you can believe in soul connections while still respecting your own or someone else's boundaries. And guess what? You can believe in magic and you can still use your common sense. And I don't think any of that makes the world less magical. If anything, I think it makes the magic that remains feel far more meaningful. So I'd love to know what you think. Is there a piece of spiritual wisdom everyone seems to accept that makes you raise an eyebrow? Oh, tell me, please. I'd love to hear. I have a feeling we might need a part two. Now, until next time, trust your path, honor your truth, and always keep listening.